turning my life around

In a sense.

I recently came upon the realization that I was honestly starting to dread my future, in the sense that I wasn’t sure I even wanted to progress into it (but no, that’s not a cry for help and it’s not that I wanted to die; I just wanted to stay in the here and now).  This could be considered as a rather extreme case of the Peter Pan complex, but I’ll take it from self-reflection that it’s not.

I’ve been mulling over this for several weeks (months?) now, although I only started mentioning it to people about a week ago. The part the worried me the most about pursuing medical school was the prospect of basically being married to my job and having no time for other things or other people in my life. I may be young, but I know by now that despite how much I might love my job, I couldn’t do only that for the rest of my life. I need other activities and other people in my life to be happy. I still think being a pediatrician would be awesome, but I don’t think it’s the job I would be best at doing. When I last saw my grandma, what comforted me most was that I could be there for her and help her when she needed anything. My mom has been a nurse at Oakland Children’s Hospital for longer than I’ve been alive, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard her complain about her job, because she truly loves it. I really like caring for other people, and I’d like to have the knowledge and capacity to do it well.

If I were a different type of person–if I knew for sure that I never wanted to be with anyone, and I had few outside interests other than this, I think I could in fact continue to pursue medical school. But that’s not what I am. I think overall, this will be a much better fit for me.

Unfortunately, this also means I’m extremely behind in terms of prerequisites. I spent last night researching my possible options and it came down to something like this:

Cultural Anthropology

I’ll take it at Ohlone after I graduate from Davis.

Public Speaking

Same as above.

Interpersonal Relationships

Same as above.

Nutrition

I’ll take it in the fall.

General Psychology

I’ll take it this summer session.

Microbiology with lab

I’ll take it next spring.

Human Development (birth to death)

I’ll take it at Sac City College over the summer if they offer it. And if they don’t, they will completely screw over my plans and I will need to either stay in Davis to finish it (and complete a triple major or something -_-), or overload on my senior year and die of academic suicide. (Have I mentioned that I’m sick and tired of taking over 7-8 classes per quarter and I have no desire at all to take 25 units in the fall and winter? Especially winter, because I have anatomy?)